S9 Hindsight One Shot Yeaah
by Carfwyn
Summary: Um. Lubyish? Hindsightish?Yeaaah, you heard! It's quite crap. And written by a crazy British chick :P


Posted this last year on TWDW. It's a pile of crap. It was always meant to be a one-shot, I did write more to it, but gave up 'cos it was absolute twaddle (how much do you LOVE that word!?!) anyway, wrote this ages ago, 'tis a luby type thing really, and is written in a very um. Lubylike way. Hell yes. Yeahs… smiles Enjoy and all that shizzle! thumbs up My disclaimer is that the characters don't belong to me (obviously) and neither does the dialogue used. It's from s9 – Hindsight.. Enjoy:S Feel free to bash it if you wish.

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"Be right back" I said to Carter after saying our goodbyes to Susan. He nodded toward me with a quick flash of a smile as I turned to get our coats. I wondered into the bedroom where all the coats were placed in a heap on the bed and began my search for mine and Carters. It was a few of seconds before I felt someone watching me. I started to turn as Luka casually said

"Hi" I gave him a quick smile and replied the greeting turning back finally finding our coats then turned back to him.

"You going?" Luka asked her playing with the novelty furry dice round his neck.

"Yeah it's getting late" I replied shortly whilst rearranging her coat and Carter's. I smiled as Luka looked at his gift then at me his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Oo someone knows you pretty well." I joked; he smiled a little then nodded toward the snow globe on the bed.

"What did you get?" he asked. I smiled and handed it to him; I felt I had done pretty well this year. He took it and turned a key at the side showing that it played music, the song was green sleeves, a tune I mostly associated with ice cream vans. I turned to face Luka a little more, he seemed a little... Distracted.

"Are you ok?" I asked him with a concerned smile. He looked down then back up at me, his voice very one toned.

"We don't talk much anymore.. It's like we don't know what to say." he stated matter of factly.

I was surprised by his response and already was a little uncomfortable with the tension I could feel. There was some truth in what he said, but it surprised me all the same. I felt like I was on the spot, like I shouldn't be talking to him, but I just shook the feeling off thinking it was just probably over tiredness. I paused for a second before continuing.

"Well we should fix that." I paused again then thought of some suggestions.

"We could go out for a cup of coffee, you could come over for dinner, Carter orders up a mean pizza…" I was about to make a joke about my cooking when I felt my heart jump as Luka's knuckles gently stroked the back of my arm, I tensed up completely as it is one of my weak spots and for a second I could only think about how nice it felt which made me panic.

"I miss you Abby…" he said softly. I opened my mouth but nothing came out, alarm bells were ringing in my head and my tongue and mouth just stayed still as my head was overloading with emotion. I was mad, really, really mad, why do I always end up in these situations? What is it about me that says: This person hates confrontation and difficult situations, TARGET HER NOW, what is with my brain? Stop making jokes dammit this is serious. Oh crap oh crap oh crappity crap. So I was mad at him for putting me in this situation. I turned and realised my mouth worked again, then realised what it was, I could smell the alcohol on his breath and he was holding another beer. Slowly and carefully I said

"Ok.. I'm going to take a wild guess here… You've been drinking?" he looked blankly at her and shrugged.

"So?" he asked. So? What does he mean SO? Why does every one of my male friends seem intent on making my brain hurt? I sighed and looked at him raising my eyebrows a little.

"So, maybe we should talk about this some other time?"

I know I was shocked and uncomfortable with the situation, but why did I feel so unsure? I'm not the one who is drunk and spilling out their feelings to the world in general, so why, why am I so… Upset over this? Why are all my insides churning? I know what it is; I just don't want to admit it. I don't trust myself round Luka. When he felt my arm, the reason alarms were going, I felt threatened, I could have so easily jumped into his arms. His arms.. No no noooo no no. Bad Abby, BAD ABBY! I nearly smacked my own head for confusion and conflicting thoughts. Luckily they were soon interrupted.

"You don't look happy" he said again matter of factly, which annoyed me a little, what does he do go round watching me holding an emotion detector, I crossed my arms drawing myself in away from him.

"I'm happy." I said defensively, too defensively well, I am. I think. I usually am. I'm too confused at the moment. My thoughts are getting all confused and my mind is wondering. Me, happy? Ooo, Cake. Cake makes me happy. Oh dear god what is wrong with my brain, this is neither the time nor the place to think about cake. He nodded at my answer unfortunately picking up on my defensiveness but thankfully he backed down to it.

"That's good… That's good. I want you to be happy… I'm just saying, if your not.." I cut in here as I'd had enough and my head hurt as my brain has apparently stopped working and has gone off on a little trip of its own. And besides I thought I might spare him any extra things to be embarrassed about remembering at work tomorrow especially as he had started tripping over his words.

"I should go." He sighed and looked so downcast I couldn't stay mad at him, after all I knew what drunken blabbering was like. He passed my back my gift and looked up at me.

"I've made mistakes.. A lot.. A lot of mistakes." I offered him another concerned smile and said softly.

"Don't make another one."

There was a knock as Carter entered and asked me if I was ready to go. I replied yes, and I still felt guilty, for thinking about Luka again for that second, however fleeting and I felt so uneasy about it. Carter exchanged some banter with Luka and as we walked out I turned again, now a little concerned about him.

"Merry Christmas" I offered with a small smile and I walked out of the door, my brain aching from all the confusion.


End file.
